WHAT THE 10 BEST PICTURE NOMINEES SHOULD HAVE BEEN

The recent announcement of the 82nd Annual Academy Award’s Best Picture nominees had a few nice surprises, but overall they came as expected. The decision to dignify ten films instead of the usual five was an all-around good one, but it was rendered moot by the Academy’s steadfast refusal to acknowledge films that have traditionally been ignored because they weren’t tonally or aesthetically in line with the usual bait. Charlie has already compiled his Top-10, but I thought I’d offer another take on a year that has given us mostly shitty films, but also a handful of really good ones.

10. INVICTUS

Morgan Freeman was born to play Nelson Mandela in a movie, plain and simple. And finally, we have Invictus, from master filmmaker Clint Eastwood. It could have gone the predictable route and been about his imprisonment, or his fight against apartheid, but instead it gave us a refreshing, unexpected story about the South African people united through a common passion.

Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon in "Invictus."

9. DRAG ME TO HELL

Sam Raimi’s return to horror was a triumph on every level possible, and it’s truly a shame that he’s been wasting his talent for the past several years on those crappy Spider-man movies. Drag Me To Hell is like Evil Dead with a beautiful girl as the lead. If you can’t enjoy this film just a little bit, something is seriously wrong with you.

8. DISTRICT 9

The most pleasant surprise of all the Oscar surprises this year was that Neil Blomkamp’s $40 million (!) masterpiece was actually nominated for the Big Kahuna prize. The most creative and audacious sci-fi flick of the year – maybe of the decade – will stand the test of time. The sequel can’t come soon enough.

7. (500) DAYS OF SUMMER

It was a surprise this wasn’t nominated for Best Original Screenplay, let alone Best Picture. Creative as hell, and probably the closest thing to an Annie Hall we’ve gotten since, well, Annie Hall. Oh well. At least the Globes noticed it.

Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt in "(500) Days of Summer."

6. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

This was marketed as a kid’s movie, which I guess is fair, but it felt more like a nostalgic experimental film for adults. A lot of kid’s movies came out this year, but none came within an inch of the emotional gut-punch this delivered. Okay, maybe one…

5. UP

Another pleasant surprise from the voters, and it’s about time Pixar got some legitimate recognition instead of an obligatory Best Animated Feature statue. The nomination here is itself its own reward, as this is only the second time a fully animated film has been nominated for the top prize (the last instance being 1991’s Beauty and the Beast). And its nomination virtually guarantees it a win for Best Animated Feature. Unless it wins here, which of course it won’t.

4. MOON

The fact that Sony didn’t send out screeners of this film for awards consideration says a lot about what kind of idiots run Sony. Moon is an exceptional piece of cinema that deserved way more attention than it got. Sam Rockwell, who is awesome in literally everything he’s ever done, raised the bar even higher for himself with this audacious one-man show. If you haven’t heard of this film I don’t blame you because Sony sucks at marketing, but seriously, check it out.

3. THE HURT LOCKER

I was afraid this one would slip under the radar because of its painfully low theater count, but in this particular case, quality trumped quantity. The Hurt Locker is a raw, apolitical glimpse behind the curtain of that confusing and terrifying clusterfuck happening overseas. It’s the best film to come out of the Iraq debacle yet (not counting HBO’s so-realistic-it’s-scary Generation Kill.)

2. AVATAR

Do I really need to say anything? It’s fucking Avatar. It surpassed all expectations, and then some. A lot of people whine that the story is unoriginal, and you know what? They’re absolutely right. What they may not know is that it’s based on a certain story structure that has been around forever. So go and bitch about originality somewhere else, Avatar-cynics; the only reason you love to hate it is because you want to seem cool and against the grain.

Zoe Saldana in "Avatar."

1. THE ROAD

The biggest disappointment this year is that the grittiest, most devastatingly powerful film of the year was completely shafted. I understand that it’s not for everyone. It’s very depressing, and no one was expecting them to garnish it. But it’s the best post-apocalyptic film I’ve ever seen, and what’s even more depressing is that it didn’t earn a single nomination in any category. Seriously, they gave Harry Potter and the Dear God Is This Series Over Yet a Best Cinematography nod and not this? And there are only three nominees for Best Makeup. Three. And one of those is for Star Trek. Really, you chose fucking Spock ears over Robert Duvall’s decaying face? Up yours, Academy.

Viggo Mortensen in "The Road."

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

BRONSON – It was really hard to leave this out of the top ten. A bold, stylistic, all-around badass prison movie. If there were eleven spots, this would be in, no question.

WATCHMEN – Remember this one? I think everyone forgot it came out this year.

PUBLIC ENEMIES – A really good film, probably Mann’s best since The Insider, but just not memorable enough to warrant serious consideration.

STAR TREK – Loud, clunky, and full of gaping plot holes. But it was really fun, and anyone that can make Star Trek enjoyable deserves some sort of recognition.

PRECIOUS – Very well acted and dark as hell, but ultimately the amount of tragedy befalling her character got so ridiculous that it collapsed under the weight of its own seriousness and became kind of hilarious. ZOMBIELAND – An awesome zombie-comedy (zomedy?) but it’s no Shaun of the Dead. Not by a long shot.

A SERIOUS MAN – I’d probably appreciate this more if I were Jewish.

ORPHAN – Fuck you, I liked it.

UP IN THE AIR – Meh. It’s good, just not worthy of all the praise it’s getting. I felt the same way about Gran Torino last year.

OBSERVE AND REPORT – An underappreciated comedy that underperformed at the box office, but will probably gain a cult following over the years.

Zach Copeland is a Senior Writer for The Film Crusade.