By Charlie Wachtel
Okay pretend it’s a Winter morning and you are just rolling out of bed. You take a peek out the window and see that it’s snowing. You then go outside and play in the snow until the freezing cold snow has melted into your loose boots and you’re FREEZING COLD. You go inside your house and take off all of your freezing ass clothes as mom makes you some Swiss Miss hot chocolate. Then a sprint upstairs before putting on some warm clothes. Now for the important part: Find every single comfortable cover from upstairs and bring them all downstairs into the living room. Create a mountainous pile of covers. Now find a movie.
But not just any movie. A cover movie. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this may sound ridiculous but you know exactly what I’m talking about. Somewhere in that cabinet where you keep all of your movies, there are several reliable cover movies. They’re called cover movies, well, because you need to be wrapped up and curled fetal position into a thousand or so covers and pillows. Some may refer to these as ‘blanket movies,’ but that’s simply incorrect.
You look through your collection for a film with a simple plot that is highly entertaining. One that you can watch and turn your brain off. Maybe you’re looking for The Goonies or The Mask, I don’t know. Perhaps you’ve seen it a hundred times. But the movie has to be simple enough so that (if need be) you could fall asleep to and wake-up without wondering what’s happening in the story. Cover movies in this regard are great for sick days.
Cover movies Ralph Waldo Emerson style. Let's hope he has a portable DVD player and a power outlet.
Either way, the film will likely not have a great deal of profanity and probably no nudity. In fact, it will likely be family friendly and probably from the 80s or 90s. Pamper yourself. Get cozy. Cause you’re watching a cover movie, baby. Get it? The whole point is to feel like you’re fu*king six again while you’re watching. Steven Spielberg undoubtedly understands this concept. Almost every single one of his movies (save Schindler’s List) fit the criteria. Cover movies are fun, adventurous, and just plain enjoyable. These may not be movies in AFI’s Top 100 Films of All Time. Most probably are not. But I can guarantee many are in your Top 100.
Now there is a gray area in answering what exactly a cover movie is. There will always be questionable ones. Some people are sick enough to call Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre cover movies. Maybe they like to fall asleep to these kinds of movies. God knows what goes through their minds and if subconsciously they may sickly gain satisfaction from movies about serial killers. Perhaps you like to watch a certain movie that all of your friends hate. Maybe that movie has a special sort of meaning to you. Maybe that movie is The Muppets Take Manhattan. These questionable ones which may not fit into the realm of public acceptance are what we call “Personal Cover Movies” (PCMs). They’re not necessarily cover movies for me, buddy. These are what satisfy you. And potentially only you. But since everyone has their own weird, little tastes this section is worth mentioning.
Without further ado, I have come up with a list of 50 cover movies (in no particular order) which represent the definition well. But by no means is this an absolute list of the only cover movies ever produced. There are easily HUNDREDS of cover movies. Here is a sampling. If you think you understand the term and want to contribute on the message board or if you disagree with any on the list, feel free to post a comment. If you happen to get it and fully understand and master the definition of a ‘cover movie’ then simply post “OMG I get it.”
Masters of the Universe (1987)
The Sandlot (1993)
Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (1971)
Dick Tracy (1990)
Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (1985)
Back to the Future (1985)
Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)
Tommy Boy (1995)
Beetlejuice (1988)
It’s A Wonderful Life (1946)
Cliffhanger (1993)
The Mask (1994)
My Cousin Vinny (1992)
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1993)
Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Revenge of the Nerds (1984)
Airplane! (1980)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001)
The Goonies (1987)
The Untouchables (1987)
Cool Runnings (1993)
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Ghostbusters II (1989)
Blank Check (1994)
3 Ninjas (1992)
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1988)
Independence Day (1996)
Home Alone (1990)
Clue (1985)
Die Hard (1988)
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
Groundhog Day (1993)
Honey I Shrunk the Kids (1989)
The Addams Family (1991)
Catch Me If You Can (2002)
Jumanji (1995)
Passenger 57 (1992)
Dumb and Dumber (1994)
Rush Hour (1998)
Air Force One (1997)
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Gremlins (1984)
Superman: The Movie (1978)
Kindergarten Cop (1990)
Encino Man (1992)
Charlie Wachtel is a Senior Writer for The Film Crusade and Founder of www.filmcrusade.com.
